methodical madness
by daughter-of-october
Summary: [State Alchemists] # Summary: None of them is completely normal. # Part of Universe I "broken souls" # Companion to "mostly broken hearts"
1. just to see you smile again, Fullmetal

**_just to see you smile again_**

**Character**: Edward Elric

**Summary**: There is no other explanation.

* * *

His mother's smile has been perfect, full of warmth, full of love. And so he has committed the taboo and dragged Alphonse into the same misery – because he wanted to see his mother smile again, he wanted to have her back, he wanted to have his old family, his old happiness back.

What he has done resulted in the exact opposite.

He has not only failed to get his mother's smile back. He has also lost Alphonse's smile – but there is still hope for his brother's smile. He can still get it back if he pays the price and hell, he is willed to pay any price for this happiness. He traded his brother's soul for his own leg and if necessary, he will trade his other leg for his body.

Alphonse's smile is important, it is his goal.

But Winry's smile is important as well. She smiles differently than his mother but her smile is warm and full of love too – and of the promise that there will be a happy ending for them – one day. Alphonse's smile is his goal, his destination but he is scared – _oh so scared_ – of losing Winry's smile along the way, the smile that makes him feel dizzy inside, the smile that never disappears, no matter how hard fate tries to erase it from her face. Winry is strong, maybe stronger than him because she can still believe when he feels doubt sneaking up on him.

And she smiles for him, makes his love, their love grow stronger and stronger, exceeding the former friendship, exceeding the bounds of siblinghood because she is Winry and she has always mattered nearly as much as his family and lately, she seems to matter more than the world.

To keep Winry's smile and to return Alphonse's smile, he cannot afford to rest. Their smiles are his ambition, what he needs to preserve. If necessary, he would make another deal with the devil – Mustang – just to make sure that they would be save and happy.

He sometimes wonders whether the other state alchemists have similar goals or whether they truly believe the crap they are told by the generals and the Fuhrer.

There are some he believes to be like him, the woman down in the south, working without a break to discover the hidden meaning within alchemistic codes, trying to find a truth behind the Truth. Or the duo in NorthCity, working side by side for the protection of the country instead for the protection of the stat, they are people who are protecting smiles as well and that is why he likes them more than he likes Mustang even though Mustang probably has more reasons to do what he does than that bastard lets on.

He has risked life and limb to see his mother's smile again and while he has failed, he cannot deny that it would have been worth it to trade his leg for her smile because her smile is worth a lifetime and he sometimes prays that his children will smile like her.


	2. another loose cannon, Sewing Life

**_another loose cannon_**

**Character**: Shou Tucker

**Summary**: They know that he is dangerous.

* * *

If anything, High Command had learned from their experience with Kimblee in Ishbal and they could recognise lunatics now a little bit better than before the war. And yet, they had accepted Shou Tucker – a decision that made no sense to Basque Grand because the Brigadier General saw the gleam in the glasses, the gleam that hid the eyes and thus the thoughts.

To Grand, this man was so as much of a loving family father as Kimblee had been a gentleman and this was as obvious as someone punching you straight into the face.

He wondered why he was the only one to see beyond the mask of the man, of the mask this man had put up to seem to be just another harmless family man who loved his daughter and missed his wife. Compared to the major from Central, Hughes, this man was just an actor, someone who pretended to care while in truth, he could hardly care less.

This was why Grand kept a watchful eye on the man. He accepted that Tucker's alchemy was useful and that he was probably better off under the military's watchful gaze – und his own vigilance – because this was where he could be controlled. The last thing the reputation of the state alchemists needed was another Kimblee.

Tucker himself watched Grand's hostility with disdain and wondered whether Iron Blood was informed about the fate of his wife. Iron Blood was his only true rival. Crystal was gone, Scarlet had disappeared and Silver Hands was too busy patching up fools who had nearly gotten themselves killed to care about his research – and she was the only one who might understand. No, he had nothing to fear from the other alchemists who used organic alchemy. Iron Blood was his only true problem. The other man was highly intelligent despite his choice for battle-related alchemy and he might figure out too much – therefore, it was only good that Grand was in Central City and far, far away from the East.


	3. it's hard to say it, Wave

**_it's hard to say it_**

**Character**: Serena Hamilton

**Summary**: Her voice betrays her. Again.

* * *

She is a born survivor.

She has lived through the hell of her childhood, the hell of a mother who could not have been more demonic, through the pain of a life she would not have chosen if she had had the choice. She has always fought her way through any mess she has seen and she will live through this hell as well. Her fists are clenched by her side, her uniform is still stained with blood – with the blood of a comrade, of a friend, with blood she has shed.

Her hazy blue eyes finally reach the slumped figure on the bed and she feels like punching a wall or smashing her own head against the table. This is her fault because she has not been fast enough to stop him from attacking the killer after his sister has been defeated – she has only been able to minimise the damage and a missing hand is nothing compared to death or so they have told her. She does not think so because he needs his hands. He is an alchemist and alchemists need their hands to work. What if her action has destroyed his career, his abilities?

"You think too much," his sister says, pale and bruised but Jade is a survivor too and those nasty bruises will fade away, the broken rib will heal and she will be whole again. Phil will not be whole again. He will be forever missing his hand.

"It's where I have a voice," she replies, wondering whether Jade will ever understand how terrible it is when the own voice is a constant traitor, when words are difficult to form, when easy sentences are more dangerous than an entire battalion of Briggs-men.

He sits up, the stump of his arm hidden under the blankets. "I don't blame you," he says with a smile. "You did what you had to do, Serena. It's the difference between a child and a queen."

"Don't call me a queen," she says because words are often easy when she speaks with him.

"They all have named you queen, queen of the oceans, Serena," he says amused, patting the space next to him with his right hand, the hand he still had. "There may be people taller than you, greater and purer, but you are still the loveliest."

"You are making me sick, old sap," his sister says, grabs her coat and heads for the door. "I will be back in the morning. Serena, please try to sleep a little bit as well."

She nods, knowing that she will not close a single eye that night. She has so many words inside her head, words she cannot speak because her tongue is too heavy. Her fingers find his and she squeezes his hand. She wants to tell him that she has not aimed properly, that she has intended to take Scar's hand and not his but her voice fails her all over again.

He still seems to notice her pleading gaze and presses a kiss onto her forehead. "It is okay," he says because he has always known her best and he knows the words she cannot speak because she has been kept from talking for so long. He knows that she is a silent woman, someone who rarely speaks when it is not necessary.

And he carefully rubs the blood, his blood from her cheek.


	4. and I got no excuse, Strong Arm

**_and I got no excuse_**

**Character**: Alex Armstrong

**Summary**: He is still stuck in reverse.

* * *

His fists which have been supposed to protect and not to destroy are clenched by his sides as his eyes look everywhere but not at the woman on the other side of the table. He knows that he will not leave this room until he has spoken but he is patient and stubborn enough to make her leave before he has to talk with her. Then again, she is patient as well and he has learned from former attempts to keep her from talking with him that she would not leave.

She takes her job seriously when orders say that she has to talk with him about the war, she will not leave until he has spoken with her.

"So?" she asks again, kind eyes resting on his fists. "You can relax."

His fists unclench against his will and he finally looks at her. "What do you want, Doc?" he asks.

"You are keeping your emotions all bottled up – that's not healthy," she states as she picks up her pen to throw it into the waste bin. "I will not talk about our conversation with anyone."

Silence falls over them and then, the dam that has been holding back and caging his emotions since his return and his shoulders start to tremble as the first tear falls.

She rises from her chair and crosses the room to rub his shoulder. "Let it all out," she says, holding out a handkerchief. "Let go of all that hatred."

"I … I wanted to protect…"

"I know," she nods. "And you did protect – you protected me, you protected my family."

"I … wanted to protect everyone…" he whispers, staring as his hands. "Those fists, this strength – they were meant to protect and not to destroy."

"Yet sometimes, destruction is necessary for protection," she says wisely. "There, Alex, you have are strong, you are a survivor. So many did not come back but you protected people, soldiers who came home to their children and wives. Yes, you are disillusioned and – hell, who of us _isn't? _No one signed up for this war – well, maybe Kimblee."

"My … my sister," he replies, his voice broken and weak. "She…"

"Your sister has no right to define you," she snaps, interrupting her soothing movements for a moment. "You signed up to protect – so protect those who follow you. The corporals Ross and Brosh have chosen you. You were the only candidate on their lists of desired assignments. So give yourself a little more credit. True, your breakdown in the war is the end of your career but you have not signed up to have a great career. You are here to protect – and a major _can_ protect."

"You are doing more than I could ever do. You heal."

She rolls her eyes. "Yeah, but I could just as easily cause destruction," she replies. "Alex, you are not half as burned down as you think you are. There is still courage inside of you – and seriously, you have still your courage."

"Why are you even bothering? Why are you bothering with everyone's problems instead with your own?" he asks. "Let me guess: your own problems are too much for you."

"Perfect solution," she says unfazed. "Of course they are. Like yours, my problems are entirely caused myself. I create them in my head and make them bigger and more complicated than they should have been. We are both helpless – me a little bit more than you – because our families are the central factor for most of our problems."

"And yet, you can go on living like you used to because your hands are not stained in blood."

"Technically, I touched more blood than you," she replies with a smirk. "But yes, you are right. I was not there. I cannot know how you feel – I can only try. And I tell you that you are a hero and not a coward. You are _not_ a quitter."

"I did not intend to give up," he tells her, ignoring the fact that there is a loaded gun in his nightstand and belying the nights he has spend staring at this gun. He knows that she knows that this is a lie. He has been seeing her frequently for weeks and he knows that she can read his every movement, the way he trembles sometimes – because she is an expert and he cannot lie to the woman who is paid for seeing lies.

"This is good," she smiles, not calling him out on the lie – just as usual. They both know that this is the way their game works, that this is the only way they can function.

"Yes," he says, looking at his fists that have lost their frightening weight lately.

"Are … are you feeling better now?"

"A little bit."

"Just … don't go on any reckless revenge trips. And stop to try pleasing your sister at any cost. She is a good officer and she deserves to be respected for her work but she is not flawless."


	5. accepting the challenge, Silver Hands

**_accepting the challenge_**

**Character**: Helena Force [OC]

**Summary**: Everything with a chance to succeed of more than 13% was child's play to her.

* * *

Her official title was Silver Hands Alchemist.

_Silver_ for the faint light that came with her 'untainted and harmless' transmutations and _Hands_ because this was everything she needed to work. She was a healer, pure and innocent. Her hands were not stained with the blood of enemies. Her hands had only touched the wounds of her comrades, of the people she had saved with her ability.

The title her comrades had given her was different.

_Miracle Alchemist._

This was even easier to understand. She was not intimidated by the odds her colleagues gave her. Even a probability of seventy-nine percent that a patient would die during the surgery failed to make her nervous. She was calm, her hands were always steady and they never trembled. They healed, pieced back together what had been ripped apart, leaving no trace behind. Her work left nothing but flawless skin behind, no scar and no blemish was witness of her prowess.

And because of her steady hands and her calm behaviour, she truly never lost a patient.

Some called her a witch because of her luck, others compared her to an angel.

She knew that she was a dangerous woman because the hands that healed with ease were also able to take the life they usually tried to preserve. She was no violent woman and this was good because her mind was far more dangerous than any other state alchemist's. She knew many things about antidotes, mixing them in her sleep to heal those in need. Hardly anyone made the connection that she – of course – also knew a lot about poisons then … even though this was nearly ridiculously obvious because only a supernatural being would be capable of healing an unknown problem.

But even though she knew her weakness and her strength better than anyone else, she never grew arrogant because she had seen where this would end. She was not the first state alchemist of her family – and also not the last. Her sisters took lives within the blink of an eye, being cursed with abilities that could only destroy and never heal and she kept fixing what they destroyed.

She did not hate them even though she hated her family. She hated the name and the expectation placed on them, on her – because this was the reason why her twin had been crying in a dark room the last time she had seen her. This had been the reason why her older sister marched over the battlefields, bringing destruction wherever she went and never turned back because this was her quest, her quest to surpass everyone.

She sighed and washed her hands neatly, removing the blood from the latest surgery and using soap until her hands smelled of health and hospital once more. She stared at her hands and sighed deeply. These were the hands of a person who had been given more power than she could take responsibility for – and yet, she was trying.


	6. but you still came back for me, Flame

**_but you still came back for me_**

**Character**: Roy Mustang

**Summary**: His fear is to be left behind.

* * *

He has been four when his parents have died in a car accident. His survival has been nothing but luck – his cousins have not wanted him to leave yet and his aunt has offered to return him to his home the next day. And then, a few kilometres away from Aunty Abby's house, Abel and Rachel have died after another car has hit them. The very first thing Roy can remember about this is the way his Aunt has looked when she has returned. She has seen the accident from her bedroom window and promptly ran across the fields to get to her brother to try getting him out of the car.

The young boy has heard from his uncle that Abel Mustang's very last words have been _'I apologise … Abbs, Roy…'_ and yet, this does not make it hurt any less – especially because there are scars the fire has left behind on Aunty Abby's arms and neck, scars from burns she has received when she had dragged her brother and her sister-in-law out of the burning car.

And so Roy has became an orphan and has been raised by his other aunt because Abigail has never found the strength to look at him properly again, blaming herself for her brother's death. To him, this has been the second time he has felt abandoned within a very short time and that he has been looking for people who would never ever even think of abandoning him becomes his way of coping with the pain in his chest that reappears every single time he looks at the wedding picture of his family where his parents and his aunt laugh, carefree because back then, there has been no darkness or unhappiness in their lives and they have seriously thought that they would laugh like this for the next few decades as well.

He finds his team, the people who will never ever leave him the way so many people have left him and he knows that the only way to keep them there, to keep them even against in any circumstances that might make them leave is to be as loyal and dedicated as they are – to promise them that he _can and will_ protect them and that they can rely on him.

Kain Fuery knows who to ask when he needs someone to lead his wife-to-be down the aisle, Vato Falman knows who to talk to when he simply needs someone to share his thoughts with, Heymans Breda has someone he can always invite when he has tried out a new recipe and Jean Havoc can rely on his superior to get him out the mess they have ended up together and Riza Hawkeye has had someone to protect who also protects her ever since they have met. She is the first among them and after the war, he has feared that she might have abandoned him because is bad news – but no matter what, Riza Hawkeye will always be there when Roy Mustang needs her.


	7. laughing like hell, Cerulean Rose

**_laughing like hell_**

**Character**: Reine Hamilton

**Summary**: Her sanity is quite … questionable.

* * *

No one is born cruel.

This is a fact but those who have had the questionable honour of meeting Reine Hamilton nee Hawkeye might doubt this theory because even as a child, she had been kicking and taunting her brother, using cruel words. She has murdered frogs with her scalpel since she was five but since her cruelty has been part of her brilliancy, no one has ever dared to oppose her – and those who have dared to speak up, criticising her in any way or form have ended up pathetically. Her brother has left their entire family because of her – because there is no one less compassionate than her and because he has long grown sick and tired of her experiments.

She does not miss him – or so she tells herself – but it is true that her mental health suffers badly after he is gone. She has hoped that her younger brother would understand her one day, that he would see the reason why she has to experiment like this.

Her oldest daughter is his splitting image even though they do not share any physical resemblance. But Nerissa is highly intelligent and she dislikes the very thought of being a state alchemist just like him and the way she argues, the way she pushes back the strand of her hair – it is so much like Berthold that she snaps.

Her own daughter has nearly fallen under her hands, refusing to dodge the attack out of pride and stubbornness – just like he has taken all of her cruelty and poisoned words for so many years. Uncle and niece are two cut from the same cloth, two of a kind – brilliancy border lining to irony, sharp minds clouded by pathetic goals and ideals.

To Reine, it makes no sense. She has raised her daughter and so, her daughter should not be some imitation of Berthold, of the only one to rival her mind.

But Nerissa **is** like him and so she has to lie on the ground, holding her head, covering her eye with her hand and whimpering pathetically. Berthold might have molten the ice which his crazily powerful flame alchemy but Nerissa cannot defend herself with a simple snap – partially because she does not want to. She wants to take and inhale the hatred of her mother to show that this hatred will not poison her the way it has poisoned everyone else.

But the three of them – her brother, her former husband and finally, her oldest daughter – they make her lose the thin threads of sanity she has still held in her hands. She has to achieve control, control about something and everything. And this control offers the war, the war she has been argued about with her rebellious daughter in first place.

In the desert, she is the queen. She controls life and death – mostly death, of course, because she could hardly care less about her subordinates than she already does – and this is the first time she feels absolutely fine because she is good at what she does and no one says anything against the way she uses the alchemy – and no one says anything about how alchemy is supposed to protect the country. She can be the slayer and she slays mercilessly, her laughter echoing through death cities.


	8. of why i'm sick inside, Red Lotus

**_of why i'm sick inside_**

**Character**: Solf J. Kimblee

**Summary**: And here he comes.

* * *

No one leaves Ishbal the way he or she arrives.

This is a fact.

Law of the desert or so the Lady says.

He is one of the newer state alchemists, someone who has just received his qualification and she is his superior and instructor, a woman as cool as the ice her transmutations create. He likes her a lot more than he can stand the wimpy fools who call themselves his fellow state alchemists because she knows what she is talking about. She is one of the few who actually do their job, who bother telling those who have just arrived about their duties, who teach them the rules. She is a kindred soul, someone who has a certain viewpoint and who has not sway, no matter how pathetic the others are.

He finds her on a hill, staring at the silent desert that shines silver under the moonlight and stops behind her, wondering why he has looked for her in first place. "Major General?" he asks calmly.

"Kimblee," she replies and turns her head. "You should not be here. Don't you have a camp to guard or something like that?"

"Mustang took over about an hour ago," he shrugs. "I was passing your tent and realised that you weren't there. A major general should not leave the camp without an escort."

"I have been here for a few months longer than you," she says as she crosses her arms. "How are you? They sent you to one of the nastier districts today, didn't they?"

He raises his eyebrow. "Do you underestimate my ability to deal with a few rebels, madam?"

Her mouth twitches as she smirks. "No, not really," she says amused. "I am supposed to clean up an entire village with children tomorrow," she adds quietly.

He freezes because he knows that she has been a mother once and that somewhere deep inside of her chest, her old instincts are still lurking. "…will you be okay?"

"Ask tomorrow again," she tells him, eyes empty.

There will be no tomorrow.

This is the last evening for her to live – and looking back, he wonders whether she has known this, whether she has known that there would be someone with the power to kill her. He stares at the coffin – because her body has been retrieved by a red-haired state alchemist who has been rolling her eyes the entire time – and he wonders when he has stopped to pay attention. Reine and he are alike, they are both different from the others. And it makes no sense why anyone has had the power to kill her. She has been strong and stable, keeping him at bay.

"Kimblee, high command says that you need to leave now," the redhead tells him.

He nods. If the desert takes the only one he has looked up to, the only one who has understood him, he will take the desert's children, those demons. He feels guilty for not being there for his superior when she has been killed and to die all on her own is something too pathetic for her. She has understood and without her, there is no longer a reason to act like he is normal. She has set a good example on how to hide bloodlust and sadism but now, there is no one he has to impress.

He turns to look at the redhead again. "I have understood, Major," he sneers because he dislikes her and her attitude greatly. "She meant to last," he tells her, not too sure why.

"There is no place for a broken woman here," she replies but a certain sadness is etched into her face. "And a woman who has ice inside her veins is not supposed to be missed."

The madness inside his chest nags him to leave her standing there and he walks through the desert, leaving a trace of blood in his wake. The desert has taken what he values, has rendered the Lady into the pathetic form of a cold corpse. His madness and hers have been such an amazing duo and have meant to last forever.

But here he comes and when he leaves, he will be no longer the man he used to be.

Ishbal changes everyone.


	9. like you're a demon, Silver

**_like you're a demon_**

**Character**: Giolio Comanche

**Summary**: Correction, he is a demon.

* * *

He believes in the state and he believes in the state alchemists.

He believes in Reine Hamilton and Zolf J. Kimblee because they are the kind of people to go through with what they have to do. He does not believe in Roy Mustang, Alex Louis Armstrong and Basque Grand because they seem to follow their own agendas.

And yet, Mustang and Grand are hailed as the victors, as the heroes of the war while Hamilton and Kimblee are either forgotten or remembered as the lunatics who have blown up entire villages within the blink of an eye – just like any other state alchemist as well. To him, the ones who are hailed are the sinners and not the saints everyone claims them to be. But they are the ones everyone remembers because everyone has forgotten about the woman who has bled to death on a dusty road, ambushed and defeated, while she has been trying to protect her country.

To Comanche, Reine Hamilton is someone to be remembered on cold days, on days when a family comes together to appreciate the heroes of the war, the people who have made their lives safe again. To him, the war has been the wrong place for a Roy Mustang who has dreamed too much and who has failed when he has had the chance to do something.

There is no point in hiding the truth from anyone, to shelter the freshly-promoted colonel from the harsh reality – he has failed and too many people know this. Mustang cannot hide from the truth – and neither can Grand and Armstrong.

It is funny because everyone has thought that Comanche, the Silver Alchemist would he the one to day but he has – like Hamilton and Kimblee – a beast inside his chest, a demon that lusts for blood and death, destruction and terror. Cerulean Rose and Red Lotus have been good at hiding their beasts – at least up to the day that the Rose has been broken and left the Lotus behind because afterwards, Kimblee has made no efforts of hiding his madness any longer.

During the war, Comanche has learned a few things – especially after he has lost his leg and sworn to take revenge one day – a revenge he will never get. And one of the things he has learned is that people like Mustang and Grand are greedy, greedy for power and fame. In a way, people like him, Kimblee and Hamilton are purer because they have no plans on creating a kingdom of peace and happiness. They are people who are living the only way they can live.

They are living the life of a demon.


	10. it's a little funny, Breeze Soul

**_it's a little bit funny_**

**Character**: Jade Tempest

**Summary**: Or perhaps, it is not.

* * *

She is a fool.

A beautiful, dangerous and smart fool but a fool nonetheless.

She harshly berates herself as she empties another glass of whiskey, wondering how long it will take her to get utterly intoxicated this time. This is foolish. She should not be here – but she is. She should be in her room, miserably sipping coffee while going through a few files instead of sitting in a questionable establishment somewhere in Central City, dressed in her best (and most revealing) dress. But even she who has been always the most rule-bound person she knows – and she knows many people – has her moments when she acts entirely out of character.

"Another whiskey, gal?" the woman behind the counter smiles, holding a cigarette in her hand and smiling the smile of a woman who has seen heartache thousand times before.

"That'd be nice, aunt," she says as she holds out her glass. "It's a calm evening, huh?"

"The alcohol finally loosened your tongue, huh?" the older woman asks as she pours the drink into the glass. "Seriously, I'll never get why you and Roy-boy drink that stuff, gal."

"It's bitter enough for us to remember what we are here for," she replies, placing the glass in front of her. "What has he been up to lately, anyway?"

"Running after Elizabeth and dealing with old man Grumman's antic," the woman in red says amused, wiping the counter. "How about you? Heard Phil lost his hand…"

"He had his automail surgery yesterday or so I heard," Jade says, drawing circles onto the wood of the table. "He's not one to call me everyday – I get most information from Lynn because Rena calls frequently…" She sighs and shrugs. "As long as he is fine, I won't complain."

"You never complain, gal," the aunt says, frowning and pursing her lips. "You were attacked by that killer, weren't you? The first state alchemists to survive an encounter…"

"We were lucky," she replies. "I … I nearly got myself killed that night – that was when Phil lost his hand. We were unprepared and nearly paid with our lives for our assumption that he'd go for those who actually served in Ishbal first."

"Did you tell Roy-boy? He has asked about you the last time he called…"

"He shouldn't worry about me and no, I haven't called him yet," Jade says with a faint smile. "He has enough problems without me adding to it. Plus, he could come to this conclusion without my help if he would think about it – there aren't many of us in the West." She scowls as a dark shadow falls over her face. "Plus, I'm in the South now, too."

"That's what depresses you, huh?"

"Of course," she admits freely. "I have been working for Llewellyn since I got my qualification. To be forced to go to SouthCity now is absolutely painful for me! I love WestCity, the South is too dusty for me. Plus, Phil is in NorthCity now. He will catch the cold of a century over there."

"You worry too much – typical older sister after all."

"Please, that boy will get himself killed one day if Serena and I stop looking after him," she says, fists clenching by her side once more because hell, the last time, he has been the one to look after her and this is so ironic that it might be nearly funny – only that she does not kid about life-or-death-situations.


	11. as far as we know, Breeze Heart

**_as far as we know_**

**Character**: Philippe Tempest

**Summary**: He liked his job and that was why he was among the best.

* * *

Breeze Heart.

Was there a less intimidating name for a male state alchemist? Hardly. But on the bright side, no one would ever dare to question his manliness. He was a fighter, a fierce protector and this was enough to prove that he was indeed a tough enough fighter.

He was a man of action, of ambition. He rose from major to lieutenant colonel within the first five years of service (without benefitting from an ongoing war) and by the time things in the capital started to get really, really strange, he was about to be promoted to colonel

He was truly skilled and his abilities were terrifying enough to make him one of the most famous and popular state alchemists. He served in West City at the beginning of his career before Scar came and took his hand – which was a small price compared to the unfortunate souls who had died – because right afterwards, he was transferred to North City along with his partner.

They were among the best teams, Philippe Tempest and Serena Hamilton, and they had a pretty good reputation for dealing with issues before they could become problems. For Philippe, there was no other partner. He had worked with his sister before but Jade was not quite as much of a good match for him as Serena and so he had been very happy to hear that the blonde would be transferred along with him.

He was often asked how he had become one of the most renowned among the state alchemists, why his reputation exceeded the reputation of his peers, of the men and women who had served in Ishbal but he had no answer. Phil Tempest had become a state alchemist not for glory, the fame or the money attached to the prestigious title. He was there because he had a point to prove, because he was sick and tired of doing nothing and being bathed in luxury and gold. He desperately needed to prove that he could work just as hard as any other officer, as any officer who had not been handed everything on a silver plate.

He was also there because he had always followed his sister and when she had decided to join the army as a state alchemist, he had seen no other choice – he would follow Jade into the frozen depths of hell if she considered it worthwhile because protecting Jade had always been on top of his agenda even though protecting Serena was also important to him.

He did his job and he was good at it because – let's face it – his mother had been Abigail Mustang before her marriage and she had given him enough spirit and ambition for the next hundred years. He was not overly ambitious like his cousin but he was stubborn and when he had something to prove – heaven help him – he would not stop before he reached his goal.

He had a hand made of iron and a firm will and a fire burning within him, a fire neither WestCity's storm nor NorthCity's snow nor Serena's water transmutations had extinguished yet.

Speaking of the devil…

"The Major General expects us."

"I am on my way, Wave."


	12. caught in a sea of despair, Freezing

**_caught in a sea of despair_**

**Character**: Isaac McDougal

**Summary**: And there is no way out.

* * *

Ishbal was the hell on earth to him and anyone else who had had a few shreds of sanity left.

The destruction, the killing, the _sin_ of slaughtering a peaceful people.

To Isaac McDougal, the former Freezing Alchemist, the pain and the guilt had stuck to his skin ever since they had been allowed to leave the desert behind and he had turned to drinking.

He had travelled to SouthCity, hoping to find a job because he had been looking for a purpose ever since the war had ended and in a dark and suspicious bar, he met one of the state alchemists who have continued to serve the army after the war.

"It has been a while, Lightening," he said with a short nod.

"Freezing," she replied with a little smirk which had been her trademark for as long as he had known her. "I heard that you left the army…"

"I am surprised how well you are informed."

"I am in the Investigation Department before they find a constant assignment for me," she explained, staring at the whiskey in her glass.

He wondered how she moved on after the war, how she dealt with the days when guilt was heavier than anything else. They had been relatively close during the war and he remembered that she had told him how she feared that she could not be able to look into her husband's eyes afterwards but the ring on her fourth finger is still gleaming.

Maybe he should ask her to tell him the secret about how to keep going, how to keep moving – how to keep breathing after all they went through. They had been in Ishbal, they had fought in the worst war of the entire century and they had failed an entire country. They were not the heroes so many people claimed them to be. They had simply slaughtered innocents.

"You seem to be lost in thoughts," she stated calmly as she looked up. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah," he lied with a faint smile. "How are you doing it?"

"I work pretty dedicated, plus, I am on the list of state alchemists who are obligated to attend psychological counsel appointments," she explained. "Also … I keep telling myself that it was not our fault. We all were mostly first time officers – we played far out of our league. I keep going to make up for all the corpses that form the ladder to my success."

"Pretty morbid," he added and he remembered that this had always been her way. She had told him to keep going at any price because otherwise, it would hurt too damn much. She had still a purpose and he did not doubt that she would continue to serve Amestris loyally even though she frequently turned up somewhere in Creta's colours. Doubts were not meant for her.

For a moment, he wondered whether she had been approached by the woman in black as well, whether she had been given a little red stone as well – then he remembered that she was not out of the game yet. He had lost, he had broken beyond repair in the desert and the only thing he might still do was to assassinate the man who had brought this despair over all of them.

They were caught, all of them, Mustang and Armstrong just as much as Comanche and Kimblee. Loyalty was the tie that bound them, the noose that chocked them. In the end, none of them had found glory and fame. The way of a state alchemist was the path of despair.

The red stone in his hand shone.


	13. give this man his wings, Iron Blood

**_give this man his wings_**

**Character**: Basque Grand

**Summary**: He, too, is caged.

* * *

Among the state alchemists Iron Blood went along with the best was Lightening because most sane people got along with her. She was someone he could easily understand because her opinions were not as radical and fanatic as those of many other people and she lacked the childlike optimism so many of her peers still had.

Some might even say that Colonel Grand and Lieutenant Colonel Hamilton – not Major General Hamilton because that woman had been a vile one – had been cut from the same cloth. They acknowledged their situation and realised that they were not as free as they wanted to be. They realised that they were not free, that they were bound by invisible ties. Iron Blood once even said that they had been conditioned to believe that their choices had been theirs while in truth, they had never had a choice because the very moment they had entered the military, they had been trapped because a state alchemist either was discharged because of a mental breakdown, because he was dead or because he had turned out to be a loose cannon.

After Ishbal, the Iron Blood Alchemist was not among those who were ordered to attend frequently psychological counsel meetings because according to High Command, he was not likely to commit suicide. He was only confused and also shocked when he heard that Lightening had been ordered to attend because she had seemed to be pretty sane and healthy even after all the bloodshed they had seen. He asked her about this when they met on a meeting, right after his promotion to brigadier general and hers to colonel, and she only smiled thinly before she told him that she had to remember the meaning of "I" and the value of her own free will.

This was when he realised that the consequences of the war ran deeper than he had previously assumed. He, too, did no mo longer remember what he was meant to do because everything he had done had ended in a catastrophe and he wanted to do something, _anything_ right.

She looked at him with a gaze that was not pitying because he knew that she knew that he would have hated her for pitying him. "My doc told me to love who I am and to free myself of the guilt," she said, patting his shoulder. "Do the same, Iron, free yourself and free your soul."

And so he stood there, looking after her as she hurried down the hallway to disappear once more, leaving nothing but the scent of wildflowers and freedom and a strangely tensed atmosphere in her wake.


	14. she's gone away, Scarlet

**_she's gone away_**

**Character**: Anne Summers

**Summary**: And left a gap behind.

* * *

To disappear had been easy.

She had simply thrown the important things she could not bear to miss into a suitcase and left the country. This was the only thing she could do. The rivalry between her and Helena Force had grown too far because they were both geniuses on the same field and there was no reason for her to stay at the same place where the silver-haired woman was as well because this could not end well – two women with great talent and equally witty minds would clash at some point.

To disappear was the only way to prevent a showdown between Scarlet and Silver Hands.

So Anne Summers had disappeared on a sunny day in spring, boarding the train to Lionnenburg and from this city, she wandered off to Creta, to a country where no concurrence would make her doubt her abilities. She had lost to Silver Hands so many times in so many ways because Scarlet was never someone meant for battles. Neither was Silver Hands but the so-called Miracle Alchemist is indeed a miracle worker and when she saw the need to do something, she did never allow anyone to stop her from going through with it.

Scarlet knew that only a coward would run away from such a petty rivalry but she also knew that she was a coward compared to all those women and men who fearlessly went a path which – and all of them knew this – might very well kill them one day. And she knew that while she healed poor farmers in Creta, never giving her name or her former occupation, her rival was healing an entire country and she felt … remorse but she could not go back because Amestris was no longer duty.

She had given up the hospital, had left it to Helena Force and she would never return to claim it back because this would be the final proof of her incompetence.


	15. an exquisite extreme, Crystal

**_an exquisite extreme_**

**Character**: Tim Marcoh

**Summary**: He is confused.

* * *

There is not much what can shock him anymore.

He has long accepted that his sin is stained forever and that nothing – not even his death – can change the fact that he will go to hell the very second of his death. He has created the weapon to kill faster and – better than ever before, he has no real reason to even try.

And yet, he has ended up in a whirlwind of events – one more confusing than the next – and he simply has no idea where this is all supposed to end because he cannot see a good outcome and the last time he has truly believed into something, it has ended badly and he just does not want to see an end like this ever again.

That is why he is pretty confused when he ends up doing something.

To play a trick on Envy with the little girl's hand is a first step to use alchemy for something that is not evil and to try to destroy Envy's philosopher stone is the only thing he can do. Crystal Alchemist is an ironic title but the one who can create philosopher's stones can also destroy them again – or at least weaken them considerably – and this is what he does.

He cannot make up for his sins because like everyone, he has to carry on after everything. No one who has been involved into the war has left the war behind without a scar – emotional or physical – because they all have done something no one can ask for forgiveness for.

He meets Silver Hands, a fellow doctor, a few weeks after everything is over when she comes to Ishbal to set up a small hospital and he wonders when she has started to look so damn old. True, her hair has always been silver because of a gen defect but there are wrinkles on her face and bags under her eyes because she has been suffering as well.

She shakes his hand firmly and asks whether she should heal his face.

He declines. "Don't worry about me for I will be fine," he tells her as they watch how medicine is carried into the new hospital.

"Did you decide on a name yet?" she inquires.

"I was asked to name this hospital Rockbell after the both doctors who have done what we should have done as well."


	16. tell me what's the use, Lightening

**_tell me what's the use_**

**Character**: Kay Hamilton

**Summary**: Because in all honesty, she does not know.

* * *

"Go back inside."

She turns her head and smirks faintly. "I cannot remember the day you became the boss of me, Nessa," she replies and pats the space next to her. "Plus, dad will throw a fit at me for smoking inside."

"I thought you stopped," her older and wiser sister says softly.

"I did and I will stop again," the red-haired woman replies as she stares at the stars above them. "This is the last one I still got – I bought three packs at the start of the war and I didn't buy any new ones. With this cigarette, Ishbal will be finally over for me."

They are sisters, twins even, and they know each other better than anyone else knows them. They have faced so many difficult decisions and sometimes, space has had appeared between them but they have always felt connected.

"You will smoke again," the blonde says, holding out a hand with a new lighter. "Just, don't smoke when Lynn's around and away from the kids."

"You have changed."

"You were gone for years. I had to change, had to become independent from you, Kay. We do it all, simply everything if we have to, don't we? Always together, fearless sisters of strength and power," she says. "I needed some thing of my own, things that belong to me – only to me."

"Like the shiny ring on your finger?"

"For example, yes."

"Soldier?"

"You know me too well, Kay."

"You are one of us and all of us married soldiers or are at least involved with one of them."

"True," the blonde smiles as she leans against her sister. "We missed you when you were gone."

"I wasn't gone, I didn't leave you behind," Kay says as she smiles at the garden around them. "It is nice to see some real green for a change."

"Dad won't make you leave. It's your home."

"At the moment, I don't need all of this," Kay replies as she pats her sister's shoulder. "I missed the days when we just sat here and watched the stars."

"Who said that they are over?"

They turn around just to see their sisters. Lynn is carrying the same patched-up blanket they have used to so many years while Serena carries the chocolate bars.

"We will just lay there and forget about all that trouble," Lynn says and her voice allows no objections.

And so they lay in the grass and stare at the stars above them and for a moment, Kay truly manages to forget about the pain and the suffering she has been through. In those precious minutes that fade into hours, she does not care about anything but the moment. She does not wonder how her future will be or what will happen next because she finally stops to wonder about a deeper meaning in anything.

Her inability to accept what she cannot change has been her greatest weakness for so long and now, she simply stops to ask so many questions because there is not always a reason and she has to stop asking questions when she knows that there is no use.

And yet, she will never stop to wonder about the use of a war like the one she has just returned from.


	17. it's a ruthless game, Element

**_it's a ruthless game_**

**Character**: Peter Hamilton

**Summary**: He would know.

* * *

He can only laugh at all the foolish soldiers who believe that things would get easier the further you climb up on the ladder of success because he has seen that it is not any easier the further a soldier got. Some fall into corruption and abuse their power and others start to abandon themselves to protect their subordinates because they have realised that if they do not care about them, no one ever will.

But as long as no one gives him a reason to say something or to share his observations, he will stay silent and watch with unholy glee how more and more once supposedly promising officers fall victim to the thirst to gain more and more power and how those who have been considered unimportant and not ambitious enough suddenly start to lead their squads and subordinates with far more self-confidence and skill than those who have started out as the military's golden kids and ended up in a position where they could no longer do anything.

He chuckles softly as he watches the newly promoted sergeants and corporals who are following their new superiors to their new offices. "I am curious to see more of them," he mutters.

"Stop giggling like a psychopath," his daughter snaps as she dumps another stack of paperwork on his table. "I know that you think that you can say already who will raise and who will fall but you have not perfected this skill yet."

"Still bitter that I told you that you'd end up as some housewife or society girl?"

"Yeah," she admits as she leans against his desk. "I said back then that I'd better things to do with my knowledge and my intelligence – like blackmail and bribes."

"There's a reason why I don't like you at the Investigation Department," he says with a smirk.

"This is not some sort of game, father," she states calmly. "And while I admit that being smart helped me out quite a few times so far, it is not the main reason why I am here. It took devotion."

"And luck because all of your predecessors ended up demoted or killed."

"You are saying this like is a bad thing and like someone is missing them," she replies, eyes resembling frozen emeralds. She is the best example for someone most people have counted out after the war because she _is_ broken, no matter how proud she acts and healing goes slow for her. But she is still fighting because she has a reason to and this is what makes daughter and father two of the same kind – oh, and the fact that they look like the same person in a male and a female version might add to this.

She follows him as he leaves his office and they stride through the hallways, red hair and golden stripes and stars shining in the sunlight.


	18. it's not over tonight

**_it's not over tonight_**

**Characters**: Scar, West City's state alchemists

**Summary**: The first survivors.

* * *

West City's had four jewels.

Wave. Silver Hands. Breeze Soul. Breeze Heart.

Four state alchemists who had not been in the army during the war, four state alchemists who had all attained their qualification the same day because after brilliant scores and amazing demonstrations of their abilities, there had been no saying who deserved it more.

Well, this might be very well the last day of West City's jewels because Scar was here for them and their popularity would be their downfall. It had been even easier than ever before to figure out where to find and kill them because the quartet had many adoring fans who loved talking about them – not realising that the stranger had plans on becoming their executioner.

He saw Silver Hands first, her pale hair shone in the light of the street lanterns as she smoothly moved ahead of the others, steps dancelike and gracious. She wore a white lab coat with her uniform pants and for a moment, it stung because of the doctors all those years ago. But this woman had to die. She was a state alchemist – she deserved to die.

Behind her, Breeze Soul. Watchful black eyes roamed over the dark streets because she was the most cautious among them, the one he had to be careful with. But her hands were bare, no gloves in sight. None of them had any transmutation arrays at hand, a recklessness they would pay for dearly but then again, there had been no attack in West City before and compared to the so-called heroes of the war, they were relatively unknown outside their town. And they seemed to be on their way back home after a long day of duty.

Breeze Heart and Wave walked side by side. His steps were soft and steady as she moved fluently as if every step was part of a carefully choreographed step. Among the four, Wave was the only one with openly offensive abilities, the only one who could land a direct hit. Her partner, Breeze Heart, and his sister were both capable of taking on Flame but they needed time – time he would sure as hell not give them – to prepare their attacks.

Well, they had nearly reached him so he stepped out of the shadows. He had to admit that they had the right attitude and enough pride not to run – not that it would help them because he was pretty sure that he would outrun most of them with relative ease.

"The state alchemist killer came for us," Breeze Soul said as she bound her hair into a ponytail, obviously preparing for a fight. "Well, it honours us that he comes for us before he goes for the ones in East City…"

"Jade," Silver Hands warned sharply as she nervously scratched her neck. "Careful and steady."

"Don't worry, we got that, Lynn," Wave said with a small smile. "In the name of the Amestrian State Military, we are arresting y-"

His punch missed her by an inch because Breeze Heart pulled her back and suddenly, Scar felt a kick against his shoulder. Breeze Soul lived up to her reputation to be faster than most people when it came to martial arts and she had timed her attack neat like a professional, diving out of his reach by the time he was firmly on his feet again. He had to hand it to her, a few years back, he would not have been a match for her but seeing that she was the one who did not even bother with alchemy at the moment, he blocked her next attack with more power than necessary and watched how she crashed into a wall and slumped down there, motionless. He was sure that she had not died yet – he had heard no bursting bones – but he would deal with her later.

"…you bloody bastard!" Breeze Heart screamed, charging at him. Like his sister, the air alchemist was usually a more than decent user of martial arts but in his wrath, he had allowed himself a huge opening and Scar effortlessly grabbed his hand, concentrating on destroying his body but before he could do this, blood splattered and stained his glasses. As his sight was restored – he simply threw away the damn glasses – he saw the trace of water and the hand that was no longer attached to the rest of Breeze Heart's body.

"Sorry, Phil, but … it was all I could do," Wave apologised, dropping the arm with the hand that held a ring, the ring she had used to transmute water or rather to put the water under a high enough pressure to cut through her partner's flesh and bones.

"Heartless, Wave," Scar said with a smile. "So, you are the one who's next?"

"If you let Lynn go, yes," the blonde replied, fists clenching by her sides. "She has a family to get back to, two little children. I'd not appreciate it if her husband becomes a widower and her children become semi-orphans tonight."

"I cannot make such a promise," he replied seriously. "It is my quest to kill all state alchemists and that even includes those who have not served in the war or who have children."

"It's okay…" Silver Hands said as she rose from where she had knelt next to Breeze Heart who was no longer bleeding. "We are all in this together, aren't we? And we are going down together as well. I rather never see my children and my husband again then to become a coward who runs from a fight. I can do more than healing after all."

"Two of you are down, Wave is the only one who landed a direct hit – on her own comrade but still, and you, Silver Hands, have no reputation about any marvellous fighting skills," he stated calmly, mentioning at the fallen air alchemist behind him. "Oh, Breeze Soul caught me off guard as the beginning of our marvellous battle. This is a feat I should mention as well."

"You're a real bastard, you know?" Breeze Heart snapped, leaning against the wall. "We are fighting for our goddamn lives and instead of giving us a decent battle, you are holding speeches. Rena, help me up. This bastard hurt Jade."

"Your recklessness cost you your left hand already – do you want to lose your right one as well?"

"No – this will end in hundreds of reports for me and I'll need my right hand to write them," he replied as he was pulled onto his feet again. "I did consider letting you go when you first arrived – West City is mostly autocratic and we don't appreciate Central's doings. But you hurt her – and you forced Serena to take my hand. That's what I won't be able to forgive – _ever_."

"She should be fine in a few hours," Silver Hands replied, poking her friend's cheek. "She probably broke another rib but she has a thick skull so we don't have to worry about a concussion – because that would be something I'd really, really hate."

Scar saw the icicles and the water rays and he barely managed to dodge them before a pressure wave hit him and sent him staggering into the next wall. _'Wave and Breeze Heart – a damn good team, I need to watch out for them,'_ he thought before something grazed his arm after a flash of silver had passed him. _'Just a scratch.'_

"Just in case that you assume that this is a minor injury, it is," the silver-haired woman replied, appearing right in front of him. "This, however, is no minor injury. This might hurt a little more."

Her ghostlike touch send chills up his arm, the arm without tattoos, and seconds later, blood splattered over her white lab coat. "W-what?" he asked.

"Reverse healing alchemy and you have something to cause maximal damage with minimal effort," she replied, wiping the blood from her face. "Along with the icicle in your hip, this will slow you down considerably. You are fast, I'll give you that, but not anymore. The injuries will heal, of course, but tonight, you are no longer a match for us."

He knew that her words where the truth, that they had truly beaten him at his own game but this did not explain why she was standing so calmly there, just a few millimetres out of his reach. "How is this possible?" he asked. He had always been the fastest and he could not be outmatched by anyone on terms of speed. This was absolutely ridiculous.

"Lynn's first blow, the scratch distracted you for a moment – probably because you feared that it might be something poison-related which should be everyone's first assumption," Breeze Heart explained. "It has however two purposes: to give Rena the time to conjure the icicle and to give her the time to deliver the real blow. You might not have known this but Lynn is currently the Amestrian champion – there is no woman faster than her at the moment. Plus, there is a reason why we are called the quartet – ninety perfect of our attacks work only because we are a team."

A sharp blow into his shoulder announced the presence of Breeze Soul behind him but as he twirled around, she was already out of his reach again.

"The Queen of Spades never loses a battle," Wave said cryptically. "A word of advice: the next time, you try to mess with us, separate us and don't allow us to fall into out formation."

"Serena, you really shouldn't give him any advice," Breeze Soul said as she limped over to the rest of her team, visible in pain. "Still, scarred man, just … leave before we obliterate you."

For a moment, he considered whether he would be able to beat them even with his injured leg and arm. They had been battered as well, one of them was missing a hand, another could barely stand straight even though she was still talking big. For a moment, he nearly pitied them because the hand was lost forever and the broken rib would take longer to heal than his injuries. They were a team and if they went down, they would go down together and they would take him with them because this was the way they functioned.

This day marked the historically event of the first state alchemists who escaped Scar.

Afterwards, they were asked how this had been possible when other, stronger alchemists had fallen like flies but they always said that they had been four against one and that for this strategically upper hand which they had technically had, they had lost too much.


	19. it doesn't matter in the end, W & BH

**_it doesn't matter in the end_**

**Characters**: Phil Tempest, Serena Hamilton

**Summary**: Or so she tells herself.

* * *

It was freezing in North City when the Wave Alchemist walked through the dark streets but for once, there was no connection between her annoyance with everything and everyone and the weather because she was in North City and it was always cold there – not that it would make her any happier at the moment. Her face showed a firm scowl by the time she finally reached her house and she unlocked the door without any hesitation. This was her house and she had any right to be here because this was where she lived.

"You are late."

She did not flinch as she threw her coat onto her couch. "You have no reason to be here."

"Says the woman who had keys and full access to all my flats and houses since the academy," he replied as he lowered his newspaper. "And when I said that you are late, I meant it. Did you forget that we have some party to attend?"

He was, as if she had expected anything else, dressed into a neat black suit with that ridiculous red tie she had bought him years ago when they had just gotten money for their work for the very first time. According to some, he had been wearing this tie on any important function he had attended since then and while she had no possibility to confirm this, she was still deeply disturbed by the very idea.

"I told you that I'd not go there," she shrugged as she leaned against a wall. "So, why did you even bother to stop by?"

He did not answer as he grabbed her shoulders and dragged her into her bedroom. "You will change now, I got the car ready around the corner and we will go there together. Serena, we are a team – whether you like it or not does not matter," he said. "Do me a favour and stop blaming yourself for what happened then. We are still the best team around here and if god pleases, we will give them hell because this is all we can do at the moment."

She looked at him before she grabbed his shoulders and kissed him. "You are not healthy for me," she said with a faint grin. "And yet, you are forever the best."

He grinned as he kissed her forehead. "I know that I am irresistible," he said amused. "And yeah, I am probably the reason for your untimely death but well, we can't have everything."

She laughed as he left her room and undid her messy bun to brush her hair before she braided it in the same complicated way her sisters had worn their hair at their respective weddings. This was the only way she could overcome her insecurities.

And she was very insecure.

With Phil, talking was easy and words were formed with ease. With everyone else, her voice betrayed her constantly and no matter how hard she tried, she never managed to achieve full control over her actions and words in public. She hated this. She hated being shy and insecure while she was one of the strongest combat alchemists – even ranked higher than Mustang because she could put out his flames with relative ease. She was rumoured to be one of the craftiest and smartest tacticians but her inability to share her thoughts had ruined this career completely. And yet, she was trying so damn hard to make other people realise that she deserved to be a state alchemist, that she deserved to be named within the same breath as all those who were hailed heroes of long-ago wars and that she was not the loser, the odd one.

She would never willingly admit that he mattered a little bit too much to her, that she liked him more than it was proper regarding their past and their occupation but if she was completely honest with herself – which rarely happened – she would have to admit that she was hopelessly in love with Philippe Tempest. Not that this mattered, of course. She had long realised that their job came with certain sacrifices and love was one of them. She was not like her sisters who merrily overthrew rules because they simply did not care about them and because they were important enough to shut up anyone who tried to tell them that they were doing something wrong.

No, Serena lived by the rules and she accepted them and the limits she was facing. She was a good officer, someone who cared about her subordinates and fellow officers but she would not kill herself to rescue one of them because she appreciated being alive, thank you very much.

And therefore, it simply did not matter that she liked him so much.

* * *

They swirled over the dance floor like they were just another attractive couple. His automail was hidden in his glove – a construction of her sister who had the nerve for such little things, something everyone else lacked direly – and her crimson dress attracted enough attention to make him feel comfortable because for once, no one stared at his left hand, the hand their draw with Scar had taken. It was strange to know, especially since they hardly ever talked about that night. Serena was still feeling guilty because she had slipped where she had not been supposed to slip – her aim had been rumoured to be as precise as any sniper's aim – and the fact that her victim had been the one she had relied on so much hurt as well.

"You look beautiful," he told her as he dipped her low, never missing a single beat. "I like your hair style – just like Kay at her wedding, huh?"

"We all got the same wavy hair and we have to learn ways to tame it," she sighed. "Nessa once called it the beauty queen style because it looks so nice."

"Well, she is right," he grinned as he smiled at her. "Just be careful with those heels."

They could both feel that there was something in the air, something that might make them change their opinions and thus their lives. Around them, the air was sizzling with tension and Serena looked around, wondering whether her sister was there because Lightening had the ability to create a tension in the air but she simply could not see the redhead.

"I am always careful," she said, remembering that one damn time when she had not been careful enough, when she had seen no other way but to cut off his hand to save his life. He had never blamed her because they both knew that the only other option would have been death and he had rather lost his hand than his life.

"Of course you are," he agreed as heat crept through his veins. She was a water alchemist who used water in all its states and yet, she made him feel more heat than his cousin ever could. Serena was different from all the other people he knew and he liked this about her. She was witty and even though she often had a hard time to voice her inner thoughts, he understood her.

For them, the timing was never right and it would never be perfect either. There would always be a reason to be afraid, a reason not to say what was obvious. But sometimes, she was no longer scared and those days, she would dance and laugh with him like she had no care in this world, like there was nothing that could harm her. She was like the moon, cold and distant while he was the sun, warm and full of life and passion. She chuckled as she remembered the story Lynn had always told her children, the story about how the sun loved the moon so much that he would cover himself at night to give the moon a chance to shine. Kay who had always been more radical than Lynn had told Laila that the sun died every evening to let the moon dance above them and that the sun was reborn in the morning, like a phoenix.

"What are you laughing about?" he asked as his fingers toyed with a strand of her hair.

"I laughed about Lynn's story, the story about the moon and the sun," she replied with a grin.

He smiled softly. "Jade was shocked at her because, well, to make death a topic for five-year-old kids might not be the wisest decision your sister ever made," he shrugged. "Still, you are a pretty moon, Serena, and I gladly die for you."

She froze in the middle of her spin but he easily stabilised her as she lost balance. "I wouldn't have guessed that you feel like this," she said slowly, full of hesitation. "Then again, maybe I did not want to consider this option," she added quietly.

"You are a tactician and yet, you refused to consider this option?" he asked in confusion.

"Seriously, I wouldn't have guessed that this even was an option."

"Between casual make-outs and nights that ended in various states of undress, it was never even worth the consideration."

"I wouldn't have assumed that your sense of self-preservation is that bad," she smirked. "I did destroy your hand. I cut it off – and nothing you could have done would have prevented this."

"Rena, I grew up with my _sister_," he said. "It's a _miracle_ that I still got so many limbs after all."

She chuckled because he was most likely right. Jade had a talent to get herself into trouble and yet, they had never gotten into trouble for anything. "Where are we supposed to go from here?"

"I don't know this yet," he replied. "I can only tell you that I won't let this die. You matter. We matter and I won't let anyone tell me otherwise."

She smiled. "So it does matter, after all…"


	20. spontaneous combustion, RL & CR

**_spontaneous combustion_**

**Characters**: Reine Hamilton, Zolf J. Kimblee

**Summary**: It's madness.

* * *

He could easily name hundred rules and regulations which were all against the fact that there was a pair of hot lips pressed against his neck and that sharp nails were merrily destroying his back – and those were only the rules of the military. He also assumed that quite a few social norms might be against this. Not that they cared. She was a major general and no one had even dared to question her so far.

Maybe it was because she was even more than he was and that no one wanted to attract her attention because those who accidentally ended up in the centre of her interest suffered badly. The only one who had raised an eyebrow when she had smirked smugly when he had not been able to lean against a wall during a conference had been this crazy redhead who brought terror and fear with her lightening bolts. But this woman was the only one who seemed to be unoccupied enough to notice something.

It was strange how he did not mind that she was twenty years older than him, forty-something to his twenty-three. Then again, how could he mind? She was the only one to understand him and their understanding worked on so many levels that he might even consider her as the part of his soul he was – according to Mustang and Grand – missing.

He wondered if someone but the red-haired nuisance was able to understand what was going on but then he remembered that annoying captain with the letters and the little sniper girl who had both a certain sense for interesting things. Then again, he tried everything to uphold the image of a strictly professional relationship between him and the major general, refraining from calling her by her first name when someone else might hear them and he had never questioned her authority over him because she was still his superior and he respected this fact.

He groaned as her fingernails cut through his back once again and she smirked at him. She was cruel – against everyone and everything and yet, he did not mind because her cruelty was tenderness to him. She was a strong woman, someone who had to be in control the entire time because otherwise, she would fall apart and he could respect that.

They had no secrets from each other. He knew why she was so obsessed with his destruction it was because she had rarely met someone who was an actual challenge before and she had destroyed those before him: her brother and her oldest daughter. And that she could not break him the way she had shattered the other two alchemists made her restless, made her bite his neck – always so that it was just hidden under the collar of his uniform – and whisper his name.

It was not love, however.

She sometimes slipped and hissed her ex-husband's name as her nails cut through his back. So this was revenge, too. Not that he minded this at all. The Element Alchemist – a regal and stoic man with bright red hair and deep green eyes – was a successful man with enormous skill and to be his successor in any way was flattering – even though he might prefer the rank of a lieutenant general because this was a sign of true brilliancy of a state alchemist – to be successful off-battlefield and out of the laboratory as well.

What they had was no romance, he mused as his grip bruised her skin. It was – while sexual – strangely pure because their reason was not lust or some carnal instinct. No, she was simply someone like him, a kindred spirit in madness. Cruelty was their tenderness and no one else could understand this because no one else was like them.

They were the mad ones – and the only ones who had found a soul mate within the struggles of the war in Ishbal.


	21. sound of my breaking heart, BS & Claudio

**_sound of my breaking heart_**

**Characters**: Jade Tempest, Claudio Rico

**Summary**: She is sick and tired of love.

* * *

"…this is getting ridiculous, Jade."

The woman in question looked up from a letter before she nodded. "I know," she said as she shrugged helplessly. She was dressed entirely in black with her equally dark hair in a messy bun on top of her head. If she was a smoker, she would have been a younger version of her aunt but she was no smoker – she only liked an occasional whiskey after work. "Don't look at me like that, Roy, when I say that I know that I mean it," she snapped as she massaged her temples.

"You wouldn't have a headache if you hadn't been drinking so much lately," he jibbed.

"Oh, go to hell and take … this with you, will you?" she groaned.

_This_ was the reason why they were currently having their discussion. _This_ was the tower of letters and presents in her living room and the roses and other flowers in her vases.

"Now, this would be rude," he grinned as he leaned back. "By the way, who is responsible for this anyway, Jade?" he asked as he looked at her.

"I have no idea," she sighed as she pushed a enormous teddy bear from a chair and sat down. "I have been getting all of this for the past few weeks. I am running out of place as we speak."

He looked around and whistled. "Well, whoever your admirer is, he got money," he shrugged. "Well, I guess that this is not what you wanted to hear. By the way, you really have no idea who is the one who sends you … presents that cost more than we earn in a month?"

"It started shortly after I returned from Aerugo," she shrugged. "Roy, just … make it all go away."

"What happened to your plan of marrying and having children?" he asked. "Did something happen that discouraged you? It's not like you to give up on something."

"I was cheated on four times in a row – that discourages even me," she muttered as she sipped on her drink. "And I didn't ask you to find out who my admirer is – I told you _to make it stop_."

He looked at her despair and even though he really wanted to, he did not laugh at her. He had never seen her this distressed before and the last thing he wanted was to upset her further. It already spoke volumes that she had asked him to come and help her and now, he wondered why this was making her so mad. The last time she had been like this had been years ago, right after her transfer when she had felt alienated in South City.

"Okay, but to make it stop, we need to find out who has been sending those presents," he said even though the main reason for this was that he wanted to punch the man who had upset Jade because he had never liked it when she had felt uncomfortable. "Did you consider Llewellyn?"

It took her eighteen minutes and forty-three seconds to stop laughing.

"B-Bendix?" she giggled. _"Never._ He is too hooked up in loving someone else. I know. He always tells me how he feels when we are both on nightshift. It can't be him."

"You sound pretty sure, Jade," he remarked. "So, any other ideas?"

She scratched her head as she closed her eyes, probably reviewing her last encounters with men who might have taken interest in her. "There is no one," she said. "No one who could have taken interest based on how much I have talked with him."

"What about a silent observer?" he inquired.

"Sorry, Roy, but it's really not like … like there are people who observe me. There are other women who get observed and stalked – like Kay or your lieutenant. I am just _'that state alchemist who's really good with codes'_ and that's hardly something special."

He sighed as he grabbed his wallet. "Get up, we are going out for dinner," he ordered. "I am getting nervous with all the presents around – they might contain poison."

"I had the laboratory running a few tests and they said that it's all clean," she replied but still grabbed her coat. "There's a nice restaurant down the street," she shrugged.

He nodded. "This will do," he said as he opened the door and stepped outside. Like always, they walked in silence. He was used to walking with his lieutenant who hardly spoke when it was not necessary and she usually calculated and reconsidered patterns every waking second of the day. He often doubted that this was healthy for her but up to now, there was no evidence for the opposite and since he really wanted to see her happy, he would never mention his concerns.

"We are there," she stated softly as she pushed open the door.

He followed her and sat down before he looked up at her. "What's up?"

"Give me a moment, I just spotted some people from work," she said. "I will talk to them now before there will be gossip at work."

"Forever the responsible one," he grinned as he watched her leave. He ordered wine and water for them to drink before someone who was not Jade took place on the opposite side of the table. "Now, this is a surprise," he said as he recognised the stranger. "I was not informed that you are currently in the country, your highness. Much less that you are eating in a small street restaurant without any bodyguards. Even I have more common sense than that."

"I was not aware that Miss Tempest is your bodyguard. According to her stories, your bodyguard is blonde and you are hopelessly in love with her."

"I would like to ask you to not to scream this from the roofs and what I meant was that since Jade and I go back a long way, we can take care of each other. That's what people do when they care deeply for each other after all," the Flame Alchemist said with a teasing smirk.

The Aerugian Prince glared at him. "I do not like it when people are mocking me," he said.

"Too bad that I have a reputation for being quite hurtful when someone gets too close to my only living relatives … and seeing that Jade is like a little sister, I am especially hurtful when someone approaches her in ways that make me question his intentions," he crossed his arms. "You know, it's lucky for you that she has had her head god-knows-where lately because otherwise, she would have figured it out long ago."

"My intentions are utterly pure," the brown-haired man replied. "I took a liking in Miss Tempest's ways when we met in my palace where she was throwing a fit at the terrible translation one of the Royal Translators did. She called him a disgrace for all translators on this planet and I have to admit that I found this little outburst quite amusing."

Roy's face scrunched up. "I can hardly imagine that anyone can stands her temper tantrums – even Phil and I considered ways to shut her up when she started ranting again," he said. "We both love her because she does a lot for us but … her temper is dangerous."

"If you only meet women with perfect masks of disinterest, it is very nice to see someone who makes clear that she can't stand something," Claudio replied. "I had hoped to see her again."

Roy raised his eyebrows. "She will kill me for saying this but she usually goes for a walk around five in the morning. She is at her most relaxed then and won't snap at you for saying something stupid and seeing that everyone says things she considers stupid, this should be a good moment to approach her. And something else: if she gives you a chance and you cheat on her, me and a few other people will be out for your blood," he said cheerfully. "I have to say, being a brother is a funny thing to do. You get to threaten other men and they can't say anything."

A sharp pain in his shoulder announced his cousin's return and he wondered why she had still those long fingernails when they rarely met and so she hardly let them grow anymore to dig them into his flesh whenever he said something stupid. "Roy, Claudio," she greeted sweetly.

"Ah, Jade," Claudio replied with a wide smile. "I spotted your cousin and decided to say hello."

She nodded gracefully. "Well, Roy and I wanted to have dinner – you could join us."

This was when Roy realised that he had just signed up for a journey to hell

* * *

Jade Tempest was very happy with herself and her ways to make her cousin suffer whenever he messed with her and so she was very content the next morning as she left her apartment for a morning walk. She could not remember when this habit had started, probably when she had been a child. God, looking back, she hated the child she had been even though she knew just too well that this kid was the basis of who she was today. This child had had the love for patterns and codes – and the knowledge this child had gathered wherever it had been possible was the same she was using now to break down code after code. She hated the girl because she had already started to close herself off, nine year old Jade had been stoic and cold.

She chuckled as she remembered Roy's slumped form on her couch where she had left him when she had went outside to catch the first rays of sunlight. It was a nice day and she liked to be the first one to be in the park. She liked to be the first one everywhere and wore her favourite, much too wide pullover which she had borrowed from her brother and forgotten to return it.

"Well, this is a surprise, Miss Tem- _Jade_," a familiar voice said as Claudio approached her. "I remembered that you went out for walks when you visited Padavia."

She smiled as she mentioned towards the budding flowers. "It's a nice day, isn't it?" she asked. "I might not like South City but I do like the mornings when everything it new and fresh."

"This sounds pretty philosophical," he smiled as they walked side by side. "And the park is really beautiful. We have a similar one behind the summer residence … I could show you the next time you come to visit … I heard vague plans of another visit … my father took a liking to Brigadier General Llewellyn, well, the man is very competent."

She laughed. "Bendix is one of the best co-workers one can ask for," she said seriously. "I have been working with him for years and I really, really can rely on his clean work."

"It is good that you have such a good colleague," he said after a moment.

"Don't be jealous – it doesn't fit you, Prince," she chuckled. "He is still after the Student President and won't bother with the vice. Anyway, what did you and Roy talk about yesterday?"

"I won't answer a question when you already know the answer," he replied. "I do know that you can read lips, Jade. Don't try to mess with me – I know why you laughed after I asked the Brigadier General whether you were married even though you were too far away to hear me."

_"Busted,"_ she grinned. "It was the way Lynn and I communicated for years when someone else was in the room … it was useful on missions."

He raised his eyebrows. "So, when can I expect you to get married?" he asked. "It's not like I want you to laugh at me again, Lady Tempest."

"Depends on when someone interesting comes along and asks," she said with a smirk. "I can hardly marry myself after all, wouldn't you agree?"

"So, are you free tonight?"

"After I waved Roy goodbye, yes."

"Dinner?"

"That sounds marvellous."


	22. paint the sky with silver lining, L & Ch

**_paint the sky with silver lining_**

**Characters**: Kay Hamilton, Charles Mayer

**Summary**: There is still hope.

* * *

If Charles Mayer would have to describe his wife after her return from Ishbal, he would use only one word: _empty_. She is pale and flinches at any sudden noise, nearly freaks out when someone approaches her from behind and is generally jumpy. To him, this is scarier than anything he has imagined while he has waited for her to come back. He could have dealt with nightmares and sudden outbursts of violence and self-hatred but not with this.

He sometimes wonders how he can stay with her, how he can hold her the way he used to when he is constantly scared that he will break her by accident. And this is not what they deserve. They deserve happiness. They have not done anything wrong – she has followed orderes and he knows that she is still the same kind and forgiving soul behind all that fear and terror.

But he stays.

He stays even though it rips him apart. He stays even though it feels like someone is tearing out his heart and neatly cutting it into tiny pieces. He stays while she breaks while she cries and punches the walls. He stays because there is nowhere he can go without her because even after everything, he is still bound to her and he will forever love her, his wingless bird.

He watches how she slowly begins to heal, how the physical wounds fade away, leaving scars that vanish more and more as well. He dares to love her the way he has loved her before the war again. He no longer touches her like she is made of glass because he recognises her old fire again. She stops flinching more and more, only reacts when something sounds like a gunshot, but after more and more months pass, he realises that – if anything – she is calmer now than ever before.

Her sister mentions that Kay's skin is no longer made of paper. It is leather now and he sees it too. She is recovering and suddenly, he can see hope in her again. She has not been broken in the desert. She has been bent out of shape but in the fires of guilt and emptiness, she has forged herself into something stronger, into something that will never be broken again.

He holds her closer now, no longer scared to break or bruise her. There is hope now and he holds onto her because he knows that she still needs him. Leather turns into stone, she becomes unbreakable, her strides are wide and purposeful – she is the queen of the South and no one dares to doubt her again because she just does not tolerate this.

Their daughter is born in March 1909, exactly nine months after her return – she has been sent home early because her superiors have doubted that she will be needed anymore. (She fights one-to-one and this always carries the risk of losing a battle and High Command is long done playing games.)

Laila is their silver line, their ray of sunlight because she is the child of hope and future. He watched the content way she tends to their daughter, he soaks in the little smiles and the way she patiently brushes the golden locks.

But her appearance is still deceiving because she is not weak and soft now. No, she is stronger than ever after everything.

Her skin is made of steel now.


	23. these inconvenient fireworks, EdWin

**_these inconvenient fireworks_**

**Characters**: Edward Elric, Winry Rockbell

**Summary**: She can make him forget.

* * *

He was distracted and this was something he did not appreciate at all.

"Winry…" he sighed. "Could you please stop arguing with Mei over Alphonse favourite food? I am trying to work here, okay?"

She rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms. "Excuse me, Edward, but this is still my house," she snapped as she turned back at their guest. "As I said, it is very important to make sure that Al gets enough nutrients because, well, you have seen how thin he was. On another note, how are Ling and Lan Fan?"

There, she was doing it again, this hair-flip-thing she had never done when she had been still a tomboy. It was extremely distracting but he would sure as hell not that it to her because she would never stop gloating about it then. So he clenched his jaw and kept working as good as he could with the permanent distraction that was Winry Rockbell.

He closed his eyes and tried to ignore the merry chatter about Lan Fan and Ling who had left the Imperial Court to travel more and more. He had been surprised, he could admit as much, to hear that the greedy prince had had enough common sense not to insist on being emperor when he had been hardly able to control his own council but that Ling was not discovering the entire world was slightly confusing as well because this meant that there were often places where he could not count on getting his favourite food in the amount he usually devoured.

And once more, Winry chuckled.

The thin thread of his patience snapped and he got up and passed her as he marched outside. On one hand, he was thankful for her ability to distract him because there were so many things that confused him and drove him crazy – like the questions why the colonel had invited him to his wedding with the lieutenant or how it had been possible that Major Miles' mysterious wife was about as scary as the Major General and his master combined (and how the poor man could stand this).

He sighed as he leaned against a tree and wondered why he felt so bothered by the upcoming wedding. He liked the lieutenant because she was nice and he could tolerate the colonel. He had also expected this to happen for months if not for years because it had been obvious to everyone but the lieutenant that the colonel totally had the hots for her.

"Ed?"

He flinched as he turned his head. "Winry," he stated drily. "Are you coming to the wedding too?"

"Of course," she replied, sounding slightly insulted. "Miss Riza invited me personally … remember how I got my invitation about a week before you got yours?"

He nodded and made the mental note to give the colonel a good yelling for this move. "Yeah," he said with a sigh. "So, um, are we going there together? I mean, like a date?"

She pursed her lips. "As long as you haven't another girlfriend you forgot to mention, I'd say so, yes," she shrugged. "Was that what have been brooding about?"

"Maybe."

_Yes._


	24. lady lucky and sir good fortune, SH, MF

**_lady lucky and sir good fortune_**

**Characters**: Helena Force, Martin Force

**Summary**: They are the lucky ones.

* * *

He grins as he sees her silhouette behind the reflecting glass. He is supposed to hold a questioning but he cannot help but smirk because he knows the way she looks – smug and a little bit too satisfied with her own work which has been – and that is a fact – the reason that their team has caught another serial killer.

He does not mind her smugness even though he knows that some are bothered by it. He has known her long enough to know that she is a woman who has to be the best at everything she does and this is why she has pursued a career in the department of healing alchemy in first place – there are already too many battle alchemists to win something over there.

The key to her success has been that she has had the option to choose – an option no one else in her family has had. Kay and Nerissa have been both disowned because of their choices and Serena has never been in a position where her choice would have made a difference.

He knows that he has been lucky because he has seen the anger in Charles' eyes when Kay has been broken – seemingly to the point that nothing has reached her. He knows that Philippe surely does not have an easy life with Serena and neither does Lawrence Miles know how to deal with all the little things that make Nerissa the sanest lunatic to walk the world.

His wife is lucky and so is he.

To him and many others, she is a goddess, the goddess of healing – opposed to Kay and Serena who are the goddess of lightening and the princess of eternal winter respectively. He sometimes wonders why he out of all the people he has met is the luckiest – but he is without a doubt. Lynn who is probably someone everyone can get along with – as long as he or she is no serial killer because they tend to curse her when she proves that they are the culprit.

Other than the so-called opponents of their professional life, everyone can and will like her because she is someone who can easily impress even the most ignorant people – neither Jadelina Tempest nor Olivier Armstrong are Lynn's enemies after all and both women could have easily found reasons to hate his wife.

No, they are truly the lucky ones because no matter how dangerous their lives are at times, they have always made it out relatively unharmed. Unlike Philippe, he still has both his hands and unlike Charles, he does not have to deal with a traumatised woman who sometimes flinches back from every human being – her own husband included.

He greatly respects his sisters-in-law but he thinks that he could never be married to one of them because even Serena who seems to be the sanest and least dangerous is still capable of harming the one who matters most which makes him worry about Lynn's safety at times.

Well, Lynn is not entirely harmless either but he can take her on in a fight and so she does not scare him as much as Serena and Nerissa terrify him. (Kay's old fighting spirit has been destroyed in Ishbal and he sometimes wonders whether this might have been something good because her psychological profile does not differ much from her mother's and everyone knows that Reine Hamilton has been a big enough psychopath to rival Kimblee.)

No, there is no one and nothing in the world that can make him doubt that they are the luckiest people on the planet – even if his wife is shot a little bit too often and even though they sometimes hardly see each other because of work schedules.


	25. in another life, Royai

**_in another life_**

**Characters**: Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye

**Summary**: They could have been happy.

* * *

He sometimes wondered how life would have been if he had not been an alchemist.

Mostly, his results were depressing – he would have died in Ishbal or on another battlefield and he would have never achieved anything. But while he would have been able to accept all of this, he was not so sure whether he would have been able to live a life without the queen by his side, a life without his lieutenant, a life without Riza Hawkeye.

It was strange but while he regretted most of his consequences of his decision to become the student of Master Hawkeye, he could never regret her because she was the only reason why he has always been able to keep going because after everything he had put her through, he could impossibly betray her trust as well.

But maybe, there would have been a way to be a flame alchemist and to have Riza Hawkeye in his life. Maybe there could have been an alternate life where they would have lived in the country after he father's life, where the military and the terror of Ishbal had never harmed them. Maybe they could have been happy in this life, she could have been a teacher and he could have done the research his master had always dreamed off.

He flinched as the door was pushed open and the blond woman stepped into the office, dark bags under her eyes barely concealed under a thin layer of makeup. She had been happier as a young woman and he wondered why they had chosen the way of unhappiness.

"Lieutenant," he called out to her and watched how she turned. "Did you ever consider the possibility of parallel universes or alternate timelines?"

She frowned at him. "If this is a scheme to get out of paperwork…" she started.

"No, no," he assured as he raised his hands. "It's a completely innocent question. Humour me?"

"In that case…" she sighed. "Like everyone else, I considered it a few times and since I rather think that there are parallel timelines that include all the possibilities that might have happened if we would have made another choice, I'd say that my alternate versions should not differ too much from who I am right now. I would have ended up in a similar situation in any case."

"As my babysitter, bodyguard, protector and everything else?" he asked.

"As a protector, yes," she nodded. "Maybe not to you, sir, but I would have protected something or someone. Maybe not you but a ton of children … I am not sure because I have not seen those alternate timelines and so I can only assume from the choices I remember that I have made along the years – and since I cannot remember when I chose to protect, I cannot remember whether I chose to protect you as a specific being."

"So it is true what they say…" he muttered. "We chose neither who we love nor who we befriend … so in the end, we might have been happier in another life."

"This is pretty sure, yes," she confirmed as she gathered finished reports from his desk.

"I am happy that you agree that there would have been a Roy Mustang in your life in any case, Lieutenant," he said as he looked out of the window. "Especially since I would have sworn that in all my alternate timelines, there would have been a Riza Hawkeye."

* * *

~ THE END ~


End file.
